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Dying to Grieve

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Early on in the COVID-19 pandemic a Harvard Business Review article on grief made its rounds in my social and professional circles. The first thought I had was, "Yes! This is exactly what we are experiencing—grief."  We often think of grief as something experienced only after death. This article made clear that there are many forms of grief, and that we can find ourselves in this period of “discomfort” following any form of loss. What made the grief of the pandemic easier to handle, in my opinion, was the fact that there was a collective recognition that we are all in this together. That many of us were feeling this sense of loss for different reasons, all of which were valid.  In those initial periods of grief, we found comfort in humor, in stepping up to support our communities, in cheering for first responders and essential workers, in standing on balconies and hollering at the air.  What stands out about all these ways of dealing with grief is that, despite practicin...

Missing Normal

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  "What's it like being in such a BIG family?" I got that question a lot when I was growing up. Having no basis for comparison, my answer was simple. Normal. That's what I'd say. I didn't know anything but and wasn't going to pretend I did. To me, it was normal for 14 people to live together in a small, three-bedroom ranch house. Why would anyone think otherwise? I couldn’t imagine a world that didn’t include bedrooms with multiple bunk beds or beds large enough for siblings to sleep four across. To me, this was normal. Normal was three teenage sisters fighting for mirror space in the only bathroom in the house each morning while the “little ones” snuck in between them to brush their teeth. Normal was the dining room table doubling as a makeup and newspaper reading station in the morning and a study hall in the evening.  Normal was staking out your claim on the living room floor when it was time for the family to watch a movie or televised event together. ...